Circadian Rhythms of an Insomniac

I'm reaching out to the masses on this one.

Sun, 30 Dec 2012 01:52:28 -0500

Quick update on me since I’m never here anymore:
I’m okay. Still single. Barely employed. One semester away from an associates. But all as is calm. all is bright.
Okay, so. I was at a museum with my mom and we were at a presentation. She had a question for the speaker, and I stood there watching him talk to her, but at me. I didn’t contribute much to the conversation, instead stood there, like a dolt, thinking, “gosh. He’s nerdy, geeky, has a decent job, and is attractive. Everything I could ever hope for.” So they finish up talking and my mom thanks him for being so informative, and I say bye… as we’re walking out the exit doors, my mom says, “I think he was eyeing you.” So she catches me off guard, and I say, “so you noticed too?” She nods and walks off. I turn back to the doors thinking, just walk back in, ask him go lunch. Just do it. But I didn’t…. and the doors closed. I knew the next “showing” was in an hour. So I scavenged my thoughts and tried to muster the courage. I told my mom “even if I do go back. I don’t know what to say. What do I say? I don’t know the first thing!” And she shrugs and says, “I don’t know.” So I can’t think of what to say. I don’t go back. I lose the opportunity. Now I’m irritated and left with what ifs. My mom says about two hours later over dinner, “if it makes you feel better, maybe I read it wrong? Maybe he wasn’t eyeing you?” I groan and continue eating, knowing full well about those mom instincts and lady intuitions. (Unless she did misread, then I’ll eat my words) I’m wondering if I should go back. I risk looking like a creepy, stalker, groupie goon…. and I risk him not even being at work…. and I have to pay 30+$ for parking and entry (which is the least of my concerns)…. and I risk being rejected (there was no wedding ring, I did check that). So do I dance with destiny or let it go? Help?

New Job... I need to start considering a new me.

Thu, 28 Jun 2012 00:00:37 -0400

I got told today at work, “You came in with a bang. You weren’t making any mistakes, you were doing wonderfully, but I’ve started noticing some patterns. It seems like when you make a mistake, its a big one. Causing me or whomever to throw out the product, and generally, its a pretty expensive one. Are you just not following the recipes or what?”
I’m following the recipes, as comfortably as I can, but I told my manager, its a matter of I am afraid that the woman that trained me will chew me out from doing it any way but her way. So he told me, “I don’t care what she says, follow the recipes.”
So regardless of what she says, I’m to follow the recipe.
He also told me, “You’re productivity rate is slow and you need to up your sense of urgency. You got some over time last week because -S- was out, but you need to work on getting your stuff done faster.”

I don’t think they’d realized I was tired and had only had one day off in a month.
I didn’t tell them that. There shouldn’t be an excuse for my lethargy. Other than I’m fat… and short… and tired from only having had one day off in a month.

I said I’d work on it and try my hardest. I’ve been there a month, and I’m trying really hard… but as I said, breaking into the restaurant business isn’t easy. And now I’m beginning to question if this is what I truly want to do in life.

That being said, my old job was only giving me 9 hours a week, until about a month ago (hence why I was working 7 days a week) when they started giving me 12 hours a week (huge increase, right?). Then my Kitchen Manager quit and they offered me her hours, plus a bonus, and the title - which didn’t really mean anything since I was just going to be a Spongebob - HEAD GRILL COOK! Anyways, I declined after doing the math. With the “new” position, I would be getting <30-35 hours a week for the summer and <20-25 hours a week after the summer. Well, I’m guaranteed 30 hours at the new job, with the possibility of cross training for hire positions (assuming I don’t get canned). I essentially was making within the first month at my new job in 2 weeks what it would have taken 2 months to make at my old job.

So with that money now… I need to start thinking about getting into a newer… me. Losing weight and keeping it off. Getting healthy. (Speaking of which, my circulation is on the fritz. I can’t feel the tips of my fingers and haven’t been able to for about a week.) Getting fit so I can be quick in the kitchen. I’ve got to do something. Anything. Probably Weight Watchers. Maybe. Diet and exercise. Now.

I don't spend near enough time on here anymore :|

Wed, 27 Jun 2012 23:49:29 -0400

I’m a nineteen year old, female, high school graduate, going into my third year of college,...

Sat, 09 Jun 2012 15:55:28 -0400

I’m a nineteen year old, female, high school graduate, going into my third year of college, working two jobs, seven days a week. I don’t get a break while at work, at either job. Someday I aspire to be something in the world, and these two jobs are sometimes incredibly persistent on making me believe I can’t do it. I have to remind myself Rome wasn’t built in a day, and my career isn’t going to just fall into my lap. I’m a nineteen year old, with aspirations to be something big someday, and nothing will stop me.

I'm okay. Shaken and sweaty, but fine nonetheless.

Mon, 07 May 2012 11:23:27 -0400

The good news is I own a full sized spare and can change a tire in under 45 minutes (how’s that for female empowerment?). The bad news is one of my tires on my truck blew out. FANTASTIC.

64. The Emperor's New Groove

Mon, 07 May 2012 01:28:04 -0400

Pacha: Uh Oh.
Kuzco: What? … Wait. Don’t tell me. We’re about to go over a huge waterfall.
Pacha: Yupp.
Kuzco: Bring it on.
BOOOYAHAHAHAHA.

63. The Hunchback of Notre Dame

Mon, 07 May 2012 01:26:49 -0400

62. The Hunger Games

Mon, 07 May 2012 01:26:31 -0400

I need new pillows.

Thu, 03 May 2012 02:02:12 -0400

I’m moving and getting a new bed set, new mattress and boxspring, new bedding… new everything. I need new pillows, but I’m having pre-partum anxieties. You get attached to the old flop laying under your head after you’ve been sleeping with it for 5+ years (lol, if I were dating and/or married, you’d think I was talking about my significant other!). I’m a pillow folder. I like to fold my pillows in half. I need to find pillows that are soft enough to be folded in half, but firm enough that when folded in half, they support my head.
That being said, you’ve just read a post about pillows and anxieties. Happy Trolling :)

61 Pinocchio

Wed, 02 May 2012 16:29:59 -0400

61 Pinocchio

60 the muppets

Wed, 02 May 2012 16:29:48 -0400

60 the muppets

59 the emperors new groove

Wed, 02 May 2012 16:29:31 -0400

59 the emperors new groove

58 the kings speech

Wed, 25 Apr 2012 02:13:17 -0400

58 the kings speech

57 the rum diaries

Wed, 25 Apr 2012 02:12:56 -0400

57 the rum diaries

56 the darkest hour

Wed, 25 Apr 2012 02:12:37 -0400

56 the darkest hour

55 my week with marilyn

Wed, 25 Apr 2012 02:12:19 -0400

55 my week with marilyn

doctorwho: “Are the peoples of this world guilty of any crime...

Wed, 18 Apr 2012 01:55:56 -0400

doctorwho:

“Are the peoples of this world guilty of any crime by the laws of the—”

lazyyogi: The bad news is you’re falling through the air,...

Wed, 18 Apr 2012 01:55:52 -0400

lazyyogi:

The bad news is you’re falling through the air, nothing to hang on to, no parachute. The good news is there’s no ground.

Trungpa Rinpoche

Photo

Wed, 18 Apr 2012 01:40:39 -0400

Doctor Who Intros 1963-2010

Tue, 17 Apr 2012 13:58:36 -0400

Doctor Who Intros 1963-2010